The “now” of life

I haven’t written in a while. Life has a tendency to pick up momentum and leave me chasing it until I’m out of breath and holding my side. Andy is almost done with 1st grade which is unbelievable. Summer is approaching quickly and our house is making the transformation from cozy winter house to baby pool, trampoline, summer house. This is our first summer in this house and with the warmer weather my mind goes to redecorating and gardening. I’m looking forward to making this house into our home, a home with our fingerprint and style. I love summer and all that it brings. We play “Seekers” on Monday night. I’m excited and nervous. I felt so much more comfortable when we sang there this last time. I don’t feel like I have anything to prove anymore, I am who I am. There is a real freedom in that. Steve and I have been working on a few new songs. They were coming pretty easily but now we are having to really think and work them out. It is a good discipline for both of us. It’s so easy to fall back into old habits and ways of thinking, they are comfortable and I know how to navigate them. As it is, everything is so new and navigation is tricky and tiring. I’m not as bound up by “what kind of artist am I?” “where do I fit?” I’m confident in just being who I am and writing what I write. Now I just need to keep writing. I still get that itchy feet feeling of wanting to get going and leave where I am. I want to be here, feel everything and get everything out of this place I’m in before moving on. Life is here, now, and I am here, now. So this is where I want to live. I don’t want life to be playing out right in front of me while I am sitting in the corner dreaming of what might be. Dreams are good and healthy but, if I’m not careful, they can become an obsessive distraction, robbing me of the “now” of life.

Here is a glimpse into my “now”…. My 21 month old little boy is sound asleep in his bed upstaires. I’m sitting on the back porch while my Grace is playing “babies” in the blow up pool. It is the quiet of the afternoon, when everything seems to take a rest and all I hear are the birds and the breeze…. and a truck. What do I need to hear….. What do I need to see.. My life is moving, I just need to learn how to keep up.