We didn’t go to the coffeehouse last night. I was disappointed but we really were not ready. We are planning on going next Monday night. It is a lot different this time, the music thing, mainly because we have 3 little people who demand most of our attention. It is hard to find the balance. They need to learn how to let us practice but they also need us… we’ll figure it out.

Today feels dark to me. I miss Tulsa. I miss my life there. I don’t want to go back. I know that we are supposed to be here. It just feels hard today. I’m so lonely. Some days are better than others, today, not so good. Hopelessness crouches in the corner, waiting for me to give in. I won’t. There is a life here to be had it’s going to take time, that’s all. I feel like time and opportunities are moving and I can’t keep up. All I do is damage control. I know that really, that is just how life with small kids goes sometimes and that it will pass quickly. How do you find the balance? How do you chase the dream or calling without sacrificing what really matters. I’m a wife and a mom first, but I see this other thing out in the distance and I want that too.

It will all fall into it’s proper place. It’s a long road but anything worth having you have to fight for. So, the fight continues…..